Missed Opportunity

I had an experience recently when someone at home did not want to ask me for help in preparing a celebration for our friends. I was already preparing some snacks but she did not want “to complicate” things.

It really hurt me because I wanted to help.  I felt it was important for me to lend a helping hand.  It was hard to accept rejection but it made me realize two things.  The first is that I can try to be more receptive, showing more empathy while offering readiness to help.  The second thing is that most of the time loving someone requires compromises in your life to make them happy.

In this case I did not see my offer of help as a chore but of helping out of love. At home, around our family, we should never miss the opportunity of being loving.  Because showing love, we are loved back. It is not about accepting being served by other members of our family because we want them to work for us. It is accepting in a courteous, kind and pleasant manner their attention and love for us.  

I was talking to a friend about this and she asked me how can you help people who resist being loved.  The only answer that came to mind was to love them anyway. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages”, there are five ways to “speak” and understand emotional love.  I am actually working on learning the love language of those around me and it is more difficult than I expected! What I have learnt so far is that not all people need the same thing from us.  Some may need our attention and time, while others may need our encouragement. But within a family I think that accepting love is a beautiful way of loving.